


Revival

by greenequeen



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Alexandria Safe-Zone, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Badass Beth Greene, Beth Greene Lives, Brick Day, Brick!Club, Brick- Relationship, Character Death, Character of Faith, Denial of Feelings, Drama & Romance, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Sex, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Reunions, Fluff, Kidnapping, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Older Man/Younger Woman, POV Beth Greene, POV Rick Grimes, Pregnancy, Protective Rick Grimes, Returning Home, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-04-07 22:24:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14091000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenequeen/pseuds/greenequeen
Summary: Rick didn’t look at her as the caretaker of his child anymore; Not since she came back from the dead. She was there, and so was he. He wasn’t going to let fate decide; he was going to take matters into his own hands.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The same reoccurring dream, and a familiar face.

Beth

Sadness, happiness, relief- those were all the emotions that were plain to see on the face of Rick Grimes at the sight of Beth Greene alive.  _She made it- through **everything.**_  

She didn’t know how to feel about the look on his face. It wasn’t a face someone made just because they were previously close to you or because they cared for you. It was a look she had gotten from past boyfriends, a loving look, a look from someone who loved her.

She also didn’t know how to feel when she stalked down that dimly lit hallway towards her family and could feel his eyes on her when she hugged everyone, burning into the back of her skull, and how it felt when she turned to him and he bore his eyes into her with so much ferocity that she shivered.

She opened her arms to him and he pulled her into his chest, resting his chin on the top of her head. She felt the beating of his heart and the smell of his sweat mixed with walker guts and dirt, but the smell was pleasant in a strange way-  _She missed it._

——

She slowly peeled her eyes open and squinted at the brightness of the sun, her eyes having to adjust after her long and repetitive dream. She had dreams like that every night- of that day in Grady, when she saw them again, saw  _him._

Her and Rick never were like that- never ever. Her daddy would have never approved of it anyways. She was a teenager, and he was in his forties. She could never say that she didn’t have a crush on him, for she watched him play with Judy, Carl, help out around the prison, and he was just attractive to her.

She knew he never would have felt the same about her, but that look at the hospital made her feel strange, and she never knew what to make of it.

Running her hand over her sweaty face, she pulled herself off the ground and stretched her legs, slightly becoming lightheaded. She had the same dream every night. Where she saw them again, and then woke up.

She was shot in the head over 8 months ago, but she still got lightheaded. She still got headaches, and flashbacks. She remembered Daryl carrying her out of the hospital, putting her in the trunk of a car, and hearing the walkers stalk past the car. She didn’t know how to feel- she was trapped in her own body. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, anything. Then one day she just, woke up, and she was alone. That was over 8 months ago, and she was still alone.

She wondered about them, her family, and as she walked down the path in the all too familiar woods, she grimaced. She had been travelling for weeks, and it had been days since she had eaten a substantial meal.

Before her foot hits the ground, though, she hears the snap of a branch about twenty feet away, and she draws her pocket knife, pressing herself up against the tree.

She watches the body, noticing it wasn’t a walker, and her heart jumps out of her throat when she sees the all too familiar angel wings on his vest. Daryl’s vest.

Clambering out from behind the tree, she starts to get closer, and she is almost to him, but before she can call out, everything goes black.

——

Rick

He hit the woman on the head without a second thought, and he watched Daryl whip around, eyebrows furrowed at the noise.

As Daryl walked over, Rick took the weapons from the woman and nodded to Daryl to help him flip the woman around, and his heart clenched at who it was.

 

 _Her._  


	2. New Surroundings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new surrounding with some not so new faces.

Beth

Groaning in pain, Beth slowly opens her eyes to a strange environment, a house- so... pristine. She then gasps at who sits next to her- Maggie.

Her big sister Maggie, who she hadn’t seen in so long, before the prison fell. She looked so different. Her hair was longer, she had dark bags under her eyes, and she appeared... _larger,_ of sorts.

Beth blinked and coughed, grabbing the attention of her sister. Maggie turned to face her and softly smiled, but Beth could see pain behind that smile. She thought her sister was dead for 8 months. Beth grimaced at the look on her sisters face and went to stand up, but Maggie put a firm hand on her wrist.

“Beth..I, I don’t know what to say. I know you want me to say I’m sorry I didn’t look for you and I am, okay? I have felt guilty for that every day since but there was a point where I had to stop. I thought you were dead. For the last eight months, I thought you were dead, and I didn’t know how to feel. Losing daddy and then losing you in such short amounts of time, I just couldn’t handle that. I closed myself off for a while, from everyone and everything. I’m different now, I moved on, but now that you’re here with me again all of those feelings have returned- the feelings I tried to push down for the last eight months and now those feelings are mixed with new ones. I just can’t believe you’re actually here right now..” Beth listened to her sister ramble on, and her eyes welled with tears.

She had moved on herself, but not completely. After losing so many people in her life at once, being abandoned, how was she supposed to just, get over that? She was alone, for how many months, but being with her sister at that very moment, she felt like she was at home again, like she hadn’t been on her own for almost a year. Like she hadn’t nearly been killed by walkers and people, or hadn’t thought that all her family was dead. She felt like she was safe, and that was all she wanted.

She pulled her older sister into a hug and sniffled into her shoulder, trying to savour in the moment of actually holding someone she loved.

Maggie

I still couldn’t believe that Beth was actually back. It had been almost 8 months since I had seen her and the last time I saw her she was being carried out of a hospital by Daryl, dead. Or so I thought, at least. We buried her- we _fucking_ buried her and here she was with her arms wrapped around me. How could this be real.. how could this be happening?

She wondered this to herself and rubbed her hand down her sisters back, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. This was all too much for her at that moment- she felt like she was going to pass out.

And just in time, she heard the front door open and saw Rick walk in, a concerned look on his face. Maggie stood up from the couch and whispered to her sister that she would see her later, and with a scratchy voice Beth replied, “Okay,” and scooted back on the couch, watching her sister walk through the door.

Beth

Rick walked into the house as Maggie walked past him and patted him on the shoulder, making his way to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard above the sink and ran the water, a sigh leaving his lips. He grabbed the glass and played it on the island, bending his elbows and putting his face into his hands. He had a rough day, and he didn’t feel like this was going to make anything better.

Standing up and running his hand over his sweaty face, he made his way to the couch, passing the glass to the blonde girl sat there. She took it and gulped down the water, Rick watching her intently, and she shivered under his gaze. How were things going to go back to normal if everyone looked at her like she was a ghost? Since she had woken up, that’s what she felt like. Maggie looked at her as if she wasn’t real, now Rick was being the same, and she just prayed it wouldn’t continue.

Beth could tell Rick had been through something, and recently too. He was moving around like something had happened, something bad. He was looking around like he was heartbroken- his eyes were rimmed red and puffy, and he was walking like a walker- slow and sluggish. Beth wondered what had happened and was fighting herself if she was going to ask about it, but he decided against it. Instead, she kept her mouth shut and played with a loose thread on the cream coloured couch.

She heard footsteps approach her and she looked up at Rick, him holding his hand out. She passed him the now empty glass, a blush rising to her cheeks as their fingers lightly brushed. Rick walked back to the kitchen and then walked back in the room, leaning against the door frame. He was dirty, very dirty, and he was extremely sweaty. He hadn’t changed much since she saw him last, just had a lot less facial hair and more grey on his head. As she analyzed him, he cleared his throat and she blushed once more. “How are you? I mean, how are you feeling?” Ricks voice was laced with concern and he sounded tired, but she was glad that he at least didn’t think of her as anyone but who she was.

With her voice still scratchy, Beth replied, “I’m fine, just a bit tired and hungry, and my head hurts,” Rick grimaced at that, and Beth didn’t know if he just felt bad for hitting her on the head or because of what happened the last time they saw each other. She hoped it was the first one.

“I’m sorry for hitting you, I didn’t know who you were, but you know we have to do what it takes, you must remember that,” Beth nodded in understanding. She didn’t remember everything from before but most of it was back. Every agonizing and painful memory.

Rick walked to the couch and took a seat next to her, sighing.

“So, there are a few people I know you want to see, and I think you’re going to want to know where you are, but I don’t want to overwhelm you, so how about some food?”

Beth’s stomach grumbled at the idea of food, and she stood from the couch after Rick, following him into the kitchen.

“Where am I?” She asked inquisitively. This house, mansion, was way too nice for the world they now lived in- it was like a page out of Architectural Digest.

“Alexandria. It’s a safe zone. We’ve been here for about 7 months.” Beth nodded her head, and Rick went over to the fridge (the working fridge) and pulled out some sort of meat, and grabbed other ingredients for spaghetti. Beth wondered how all of this was possible. This was the apocalypse, how in the hell is he making her spaghetti?

As he cooked the food, Beth wandered around the house, taking in the scenery of the beautiful decor, nose sniffing at a smell she knew too well- smoke. She wandered back to the kitchen, looking out a window, and she saw other houses in the distance, some nearly burned to the ground while others had flames still going. She gasped and turned to Rick to see him already watching her, a knowing look on his face. She knew him too well. He wasn’t going to say anything any time soon.

The way her sister looked so calm, and Rick, too. They didn’t have the look you’d expect for someone currently losing their community- but she remembered that it was now normal, to lose everything and everyone you cared about.

Beth didn’t say anything and took the now cooked food, eating it faster than her stomach could handle, giving her a stomach ache. Rick walked into the dining room and sat across the table from her, thrumming his fingers on the table.

Now she could really take him in. His hair was disheveled and greasy, long pieces falling into his eyes. His eyes still red and puffy, like he had been crying for days, and his clothes dirty and sweaty, some holes from what she assumed was embers.

“Rick, we need to talk, about this, all of this,” Beth waved her hands around her head in exasperation, and Rick avoided her eyes.

There was something he had to tell her, and she could tell he reallt didnt want to. Instead, he stood from the table and started pacing, running his hands through his hair yet again.

Rick then shook his head and started towards the door, before Beth yelled at him, emotion evident in her voice. “Rick Grimes! Don’t you fucking dare. I have been here for no more than what, 7 hours, and all that I have felt like is a ghost! You and Maggie have been looking at me like I’m not real since I woke up, and I’m not getting it! I know what you went through after me, okay? I know how you must have felt. How do you think I felt after my daddy died? After the prison fell? Like absolute shit, okay? I get you feeling like that but it doesn’t mean you get to shut me out. I’m here, Rick. I’m alive, no matter what you saw, or what you did. I’m alive and I’m here, right now, and I need to know what has happened. I need to, please,” Rick blinked at her outburst and shook his head once more, getting angry and upset with himself.

About to leave again, Beth yelled out his name. She started, “Rick! Tell me what has-“ but she was cut off by the man himself.

“Carl is dead!”

And all she could hear was the thrumming of her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it so far and thank you for reading!


	3. Embers and wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth sees her family and friends for the first time and gets a little touchy after a few glasses of wine.

Beth stared blankly at Rick, hoping to God that the words that just came out of his mouth weren’t true. Carl wasn’t dead, that couldn’t be.

But then Beth thought to herself. She knew the kind of world she was living in. People died, and it happens often. Who else was dead that she knew before?

Rick ran his hand over his face and sniffled, but Beth didn’t pay any mind to him. She just stood there, as rigid as a piece of stone, and her brain couldn’t form any words to say.

She didn’t know how to feel. She shouldn’t have been surprised to hear it, considering the world they were living in, but still, she felt, _broken_.

She hadn’t seen Carl since before the prison fell, and that was a while ago. She teared up thinking about the fun times they had together and even the times when they fought. He was like a brother to her and he was dead.

Beth sniffled and ran her hand over her arm, letting out a deep breath. Walking over to Rick slowly, she placed a hand on his bicep and he flinched away. She looked up at him to see new tears forming in his eyes, and her heart broke for him.

He lost his wife and now his son, and who knew if Judith was even alive. Beth grabbed his hand and pulled him into her, wrapping her small arms around his broad shoulders. He was taller than she remembered, but he still smelled the same. Like wood smoke and sweat, still with the disgustingly pungent smell of walker.

Rick cautiously placed his hands on the middle of her back, and put his chin on the top of her head. His heart was beating a million miles a minute, and he just hoped Beth couldn’t hear it.

Rick was never a sappy person. Never one for hugs, or cuddling, or PDA of any sort. He was like Beth’s father. He was a tough man with a heart of gold and he only let his guard down in front of people he loved or cared about. And in that moment, Rick Grimes guard was down. This twenty or something year old woman was hugging him and he thought she was dead for the last eight months.

Rubbing her hands down his back, Beth pulled away and glanced up at him, a frown etched onto her face. She could feel the emotion he was showing on his face. Grief. One she knew all too well in this world.

Rick looked back at her and half smiled, tears staining his cheeks, and Beth put her hand on his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his stubble. Hands still on her waist, Rick leaned his face into her hand, and closed his eyes at the contact.

The door bangs open, and Rick and Beth spring apart to see Daryl at the door, panting.

“You need to come outside. There’s some people here who wanna see ya,”

Beth smiled and walked to the door with Rick hot on her heels, and she had both fear and happiness in her heart. Who was alive and who wasn’t?

The duo followed Daryl out to the courtyard, Ricks hand resting on her shoulder. She was feeling so many emotions, but she could pinpoint the strongest one. Nervousness. It had been so long since she had seen her family, and the last time they saw her she was shot in the head, presumed dead.

Beth’s family was better than any she could’ve asked for in a world like this. They treated her like a child before, but she was hoping that they would have a new faith in her. Faith that she could survive this world and she wasn’t just another mouth to feed. She wanted her family to see the strong woman she had become. Those months with Daryl, the time at Grady, loosing her daddy. Beth wasn’t just a girl anymore, she was a woman, she had been through shit just like everyone else but the difference between her and them was that she could survive.

She could continue finding faith in herself and the idea that one day everyone would be okay. That they would all sit down and have a meal together, Maggie and Glenn with their son or daughter, Judith, Carol, and Sasha and Tyreese and everyone and just be happy. It wasn’t stupid or naïve to think that way, that’s just who she was. She wanted her family to see that. See that when it came down to it, she would protect them as they always had protected her, but that she was still that girl who liked to sing, who had faith in this fucked up world.

Beth ran her hand down her arm, letting air out of her nose as she felt the slightly raised scar there. It made her angry. How she could be that way only a few years ago. Trying to take her own life, not trying to beat this world. Beth hadn’t realized yet, but she already had.

Continuing the walk down the short path across from Ricks house, Beth began to feel scared. She hadn’t seen these people in ages and was worried they would bombard her or scare her. She didn’t have all of her memory back yet but she was grateful for that- there were a lot of things she didn’t want to remember.

She remembered her daddy’s head on that grass. The blood down the front of his white shirt, instantly staining the fabric. The yell of her sister next to her, the sound of bullets ricocheting off of aluminum, and the anguish she felt. The smell of the prison burning, the smoke burning her lungs and making her stumble. The walkers in every direction, coming from everywhere, cutting her off from her family. Running away with Daryl, looking back only long enough to see the prison being swarmed, and her home destroyed.

Her nose burned, the smoke lingering in the air bothering her in more than one way. She still wondered how this was happening around them and that everyone was just acting normal. Then she thought that they were just being how she was when things didn’t go well. Try to ignore them and hope that they will go away; it was never the case. Some of the houses around her almost burnt to the ground while some were still aflame, and others obnoxiously perfect. It was a literal apocalypse, inside and out.

She scraped her feet against the cracked concrete as she walked, tears burning her eyes at the memories. She almost wished she could’ve chose the ones she remembered. Her daddy dying would’ve been off that list. She remembered Rick though. She remembered growing feelings for him at the prison, even when Lori was still alive. She couldn’t help it, he was handsome and strong and cared about everyone. Beth fell for him and she still remembered all of it. She still remembered those feelings, even if she really didn’t want to.

They walked into the courtyard and Beth’s stomach grew queasy at the sight of all the people. Was this everyone? Where was Glenn, or Sasha, or Noah? She knew she wouldn’t see everyone from before. Everyone couldn’t make it, but she was still confused and upset.

Her sister approached her and put her hands on Beth’s shoulders, glancing at the scar on her forehead. Beth loosened a piece of hair in her ponytail, hoping to cover up the scar; Maggie sighed.

She was brought over to a bench where there were people around, and her eyes stung with tears. So many people she recognized, so many she didn’t, and so many missing. She looked to her sister, and Maggie made a look that said she knew what she was wondering. Maggie sighed and sat next to her sister. She grabbed her hand in hers, and ran her tongue along her lip.

“Glenn, he’s gone. I- I know you loved him Beth, I did too, but he’s gone, and I’m sorry. There’s this group, they call themselves the Saviors. The leader is a real prick. Killed my husband ten feet away from me...” Maggie explained, getting angry. It was still very fresh. It hadn’t happened that long before.

Beth couldn’t believe that. Glenn was like a brother to her. And now her sister was pregnant, and the father was dead. She had tears in her eyes, but blinked them away. She couldn’t cry anymore, she was all cried out.

Sniffling, she placed her hand on her sisters shoulder. She could tell Maggie hadn’t grieved. She was too worried with something, clearly. Her mind was too preoccupied to even think about it. Beth smiled sadly as people she knew before came to say hello to her. It was weird seeing all of them, but also good. She knew there were people who were dead, but she was happy in that moment that these people weren’t. She was happy that for that moment they could try even just a little to put aside the bullshit that they had all faced and just be there together. Their company was the first step to Beth’s healing, and she was the first step to their rebuilding of faith.

—————————————————————

The day had continued as normal as it could have, minus the looks everyone was casting her. She fucking hated it. They were treating her like before, like she was some weak little China doll and she was not having it. She had to make them see who and what she had become.

One person didn’t see her the way everyone else did, and for that she was eternally grateful. Rick Grimes didn’t look at her like she was a frail little girl, but a warrior. Also like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, but she tried to ignore that one- she had just come back to her family, she had enough feelings to worry about, let alone her misunderstood ones for the older man.

Rick came over to her house that night, a quiet one bedroom a few houses away from his, and Beth sipped on a glass of wine, the bottle given to her by her sister, insisting that she have it considering she was somewhere near legal age anyways and she couldn’t have it.

She didn’t like the taste, but the way it made her feel helped for the time being. She wasn’t sure if the warm feeling in her stomach was from the alcohol or the man standing at the other end of the room, but she didn’t care- she was already on her third glass.

That’s why she didn’t care when Rick sat next to her on the couch and grabbed her hand, linking their fingers together.

And that’s why she didn’t care when her body reacted differently than her sober self would, and she placed her face in the crook of his neck.


	4. Gardening and family dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Maggie settle some things in the backyard, and a familiar pair meet again.

Beth

The next few days were interesting between Beth and Rick. He looked at her often, and made no effort to hide it. There was an unmistakable tension between the two of them, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. It was the same feeling every time she was around him. Her heart pounded and she felt like she was going to pass out. That may have been the concussion he gave her back in the woods, but she knew she should have been fine by then, so she really just tried to avoid him until she could somewhat make sense of what she was feeling.

So when he came over that day wanting to see her, she told Maggie to inform him that she was sick, and she didn’t miss the confused glance her sister sent her way as she sent the older man back down the porch steps. She was sick, in a way, just not contagiously or… _actually_.

So Beth busied herself for the next few days; cooking, cleaning, helping Maggie tend to her garden out back, always leaving when it was dark to return to her own house, hoping she wouldn’t run into him. She needed time to herself so she could figure out what she was feeling. She was still trying to figure out all the shit in her head from returning and learning of the deaths of her family and friends, she couldn’t even begin to try and understand the feelings she had for the man. Not yet, anyway.

Feelings were a complicated thing, and Beth was always good at expressing herself and how she felt, even when she probably should have just kept her mouth shut. It wasn’t so easy nowadays. She was insecure, memories jumbled around in her head like astray puzzle pieces and she wasn’t anywhere near remembering everything from her past.

There was so much she did remember, but there was also so many little details she couldn’t grasp no matter how hard she tried. She was irritated, though, because she couldn’t remember simple things like how lemons tasted, but she could feel her feelings for Rick like the sweater she wore. Always there and sometimes uncomfortable, itching at her.

It wasn’t that Beth didn’t want to think about how Rick made her feel, except… maybe it was. Rick was so many years older than her. She had to be maybe twenty at that point, and Rick had to be in his mid to late forties. When she looked at him though, she didn’t see his age. She saw all the things she and everybody else have to overcome with the grace of his presence and knowledge.

Beth knew he was a good man and they were lucky to be with him for however long they had been. She didn’t know when she started looking at him as anything but a leader, but she didn’t really want to either. Every time she started thinking about him, she felt her stomach churn, and she felt sick with guilt. He was there to protect them all and help them all survive, that was the last thing she could do, especially with a man more than twice her age.

Beth brushed past Maggie as she walked into the backyard of her house, her sister nudging her on the shoulder as she walked past with a soil covered shovel in hand, other hand on her stomach, rubbing the material of her flannel softly. Beth wondered how Maggie was acting so normal after losing her husband, but thought that it was the way it was now, she had a job to to, and she could grieve when it was right.

She helped Maggie in the back with planting tomatoes and cucumbers, only stopping when her sister offered her a glass of lemonade, the sun high in the sky and sweat sticking to the blonde hair above her lip. She smiled gratefully at her, gulping the sweet liquid down as fast as it was handed to her, wiping her dirt covered hands on the tattered material of her jeans.

“Think we should make somethin’ for supper? Invite Rick and some others over? I know it’s been stressful on everybody lately and I think it’d be nice,” Maggie said, across the backyard from Beth, stopping to glance at her with her hands on her knees, tomatoes resting next to her.

“Don’t matter to me, but do ya even have stuff to make a supper?” Beth stopped what she was doing and looked quizzically at her sister, her palms resting flat on her thighs. She didn’t miss how her heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. She was doing a good job and avoiding him and if she had to sit across from him for hours at a time she was afraid she may explode.

Maggie looked into the sky and squinted, like she would find the answer up there, maybe thinking Glenn would somehow tell her, then smiled, turning to her sister.

“How about chicken and some potatoes or somethin’? We have a few chickens in the pens the other end of the zone and over to the right I have a few potatoes that should be just about ready,” Maggie furrowed her brow at her sister, and Beth nodded her head in agreement, though she really would rather not. It’s not that she didn’t want people to come for supper because she did, she just didn’t know how to act around him. Especially with the way he was looking at her for the last few days, like he was trying to tell her something through his eyes, and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

The sisters continued on with their work, Maggie checking her watch to see that it was only thirty minutes past two, and they had plenty of time to finish the gardening and Beth could get herself ready while her sister went to get a couple chickens.

As Beth planted the last few seedlings for the tomatoes, she rose up and winced as the back of her head pounded suddenly, and she dug her nails into the denim on her thighs as her vision became spotty, realizing she hadn’t eaten that day and she was out in the sun for the entire time. It was still foreign to her to actually eat.

On the road it was only an afterthought, to eat if you could, and if you had any food, but in the zone it was like their old life. Eat three meals a day, drink lots of liquids. She didn’t know if she liked that. Going from her worst enemy being the undead to her worst case scenario in the zone being dehydrated or hungry.

It was weird, having nothing essentially to worry about. She still hadn’t seen these so called “Saviors”, the ones that killed her brother in law. She didn’t want to, she thought. If she laid eyes on the fucker who killed him, she couldn’t attest for what she would do to them. That’s how she changed, from the little scared Beth Greene to the woman who would kill anyone who posed a threat to the people she loved. Losing her family and friends and nearly dying herself did that to her. Made her strong.

Beth and Maggie finished their work at quarter past 4, and Maggie left the small backyard to fetch the chickens, patting her sister on the shoulder and she walked past, white shirt dirty from the soil. Beth sighed as her older sister walked down the cobblestone path, and she took her hair out of its ponytail, shaking it, then grasping the golden locks in her small fingers, she ties it up again.

She grabbed the items from gardening that day, putting them into the small shed off to the right of the backyard. Placing the items in, she smiled at the sight of children playing across the yard, a toothless baby gripping to the fabric of her mothers shirt, and Beth’s heart swelled at the thought of Judith. She really hoped she would be at the supper.

Running her hands under a stream of water from the tap in the kitchen, she looked out the window of the kitchen, the smoke and fire from the days before suddenly back in her memory. Who started them and why? Was it those people- the ones who killed Glenn? Sighing heavily, she dried her hands on a nearby cloth, gathering some pots and pans for the supper, praying that the night would go well.

* * *

 

Beth smiled as the smell of chicken started to waft through the house, the sound of Maggie’s humming a familiar tune as she sat in the tub off the dining room, shaving her legs so she could wear a dress. She didn’t want to wear a dress, but Maggie insisted on dressing up, saying that her usual jeans and sweater wouldn’t cut it. Beth groaned at her sister, Maggie just glaring and pointing at the bathroom door, smiling when her sister huffed and walked in.

Beth was beyond stressed with all of the last few days events, so without thinking, she dug the razor into her skin above her knee, hissing when she gave herself a small cut, the mercury substance running down her leg and down the drain, swirling a pattern with the soap suds.

She sighed at her foolishness and climbed out of the tub as she finished, grabbing a white fluffy towel. The white of the towel stained slightly in a few spots, Beth huffed and placed it in the hamper off to the corner, picking up the dress her sister put out for her, admiring the fabric. It had been a long time since she had worn a dress, the clothing not even close to practical in the world they lived in. It had been too long, she thought. She could finally feel feminine for a night. Feel more… normal.

Getting dressed at a casual pace, she padded out to the kitchen where her sister stood at the island, grabbing an apple from the fruit tray, taking a bite of the crisp yield.

Maggie slapped her lightly on the arm and chastised her, telling her supper would only be ready in an hour. Beth grinned as she took another bite of the fruit, running her hand over her mouth as she swallowed. It had been so long since she had fruit that she forgot what it tasted like.

Knowing supper would still be a while cooking, she went to the largest room in the house, the family room, to play a couple songs on the grand piano. It had been a while since she played, but she knew that once her fingers hit those keys, it would all come back to her. That’s one thing she was grateful she remembered, because when times were toughest and she didn’t know where to turn, music was her greatest supporter.

Smoothing the back of her dress, she sat on the light colored oak bench, blinking as she opened the piano, stretching her fingers. She loved playing, singing, getting lost in the melody. She felt like she was in her own world; a way to escape the hell for a little while.

Pressing down onto some keys, she began to play a song that felt very familiar to her. A song that her momma used to sing to her when they were together, or played in the car during one of their many roads trips. She continued to play for a while until she got to her favorite song, and had no problem remembering the keys;

 _They hung a sign up in our town_  
_"If you live it up, you won't live it down"_  
_So she left Monte Rio, son_  
_Just like a bullet leaves a gun_  
_With her charcoal eyes and Monroe hips_  
_She went and took that California trip_  
_Oh, the moon was gold, her hair like wind_  
_Said, "don't look back, just come on, Jim"_  
_Oh, you got to hold on, hold on_  
_You gotta hold on_  
_Take my hand, I'm standing right here, you gotta hold on_  
_Well, he gave her a dimestore watch_  
_And a ring made from a spoon_  
_Everyone's looking for someone to blame_  
_When you share my bed, you share my name_  
_Well, go ahead and call the cops_  
_You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops_  
_She said, "baby, I still love you"_  
_Sometimes there's nothin' left to do_  
_Oh, but you got to hold on, hold on_  
_Babe, you gotta hold on and take my hand_  
_I'm standing right here, you gotta hold on_  
_Well, God bless your crooked little heart_  
_St. Louis got the best of me_  
_I miss your broken China voice_  
_How I wish you were still here with me_  
_Oh, you build it up, you wreck it down_  
_Then you burn your mansion to the ground_  
_Oh, there's nothing left to keep you here_  
_But when you're falling behind in this big blue world_  
_Oh, you've got to hold on, hold on_  
_Babe, you gotta hold on_  
_Take my hand, I'm standing right here, you gotta hold on_  
_Down by the Riverside motel_  
_It's ten below and falling_  
_By a ninety-nine cent store_  
_She closed her eyes and started swaying_  
_But it's so hard to dance that way_  
_When it's cold and there's no music_  
_Oh, your old hometown's so far away_  
_But inside your head there's a record that's playing_  
_A song called "Hold On", hold on_  
_Babe, you gotta hold on_  
_Take my hand, I'm standing right there, you gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on, hold on_  
_Babe, you gotta hold on_  
_Take my hand, I'm standing right there, you gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on, hold on_  
_Babe, you gotta hold on_  
_And take my hand, I'm standing right here, you gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on, hold on_  
_Babe, you gotta hold on_  
_And take my hand, I'm standing right here, you gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on, baby_  
_You gotta hold on, girl_  
_You gotta hold on_  
_You gotta hold on_

Blinking away tears, she looked to see Maggie stood at the door, and she smiled at her sister.

“C’mon Bethy, suppers just about done, everyone’s getting’ here any minute,” her sister looked to her with a sad look in her eye, knowing the affect that song had on her sister. It was her mommas favourite song. Daddy’s too, she thought.

  
She walked into the kitchen to see a few people littered about, and some walking through the door. She saw Rick as he saw her, and she walked to the front door to greet her family and friends as they arrived, swallowing the lump that rose in her throat. Smiling kindly at them all, she escorted them to the supper table and sat down when she was aware that everyone had made it, and waited, smiling large as her sister tapped a spoon onto the rim of a wine glass.

“I just wanna thank y’all for comin’. I know we don’t do these very often but I felt that this was necessary. We have been through so much this last few months and I just need all y’all to know how much I appreciate everythin’ you do for me and for us. Alexandria wouldn’t  be what it is without you all as leaders, and I love all of y’all so much,” Maggie said with tearful eyes, wishing Glenn was there at the table, and Beth smiled as everyone else did, Tara rubbing Maggie’s hand as she smiled at her.

“Okay then let’s eat, I’m hungry as shit,” Daryl spoke to break the silence, and everyone laughed at his behaviour. Typical Daryl. Couldn’t stand sappy shit.

They ate their meal slow and through many of glasses of wine, Beth refusing because of a slight headache she had, maybe because of her or the way Rick was looking at her from across the table. He was looking at her like she was a piece of meat, and she knew it was the alcohol. She had never encountered Rick Grimes drunk but she didn’t want to.

Beth excused herself to go to the washroom, walking in to the small room and closing the door behind her; she washed her face off with some cool water and dug her nails into the porcelain sink, stretching her neck. Turning around to leave, she placed her hand on the door knob slowly before it was opened abruptly, Beth letting out a little squeal as she came face to face with Rick.

Blushing furiously, Beth went to go around him, but he placed his large hand on her forearm, stopping her. Looking from his fingers curled around her skin to his eyes, she visibly gulped. The man made her fucking nervous. Rick ran his tongue over his bottom lip as he took in her appearance, and she felt her heart race at the situation; they didn’t even say anything to each other, just looks and stares that spoke for themselves.

Looking into her eyes, Rick raised his other hand and brought it to Beth’s cheek, cupping it. Running his thumb over the pink scar resting on her cheek bone, he furrowed his brow at the sight. She had scars, too many of them, but she still looked like an angel.

Rick leaned in closer to Beth, and at that point she thought she was going into cardiac arrest. She knew it wasn’t obvious, but her heart was pounding out of her chest and her palms were sweating like crazy. Her breath hitched in her throat as he got closer to her, and before he could place his lips upon hers, Maggie was calling for her sister, and Beth was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re enjoying so far! Thank you for reading :)


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth has some realizations of her situation with Rick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I hope you like it.  
> Please comment and leave kudos :)

Scurrying away from Rick, Beth went to where her sister was, looking at her with wide eyes as if to ask what she wanted. Beth was glad that her sister had called her, but also a little annoyed. Half of her wanted for Rick to place his lips on hers, and the other half of her wanted to run, glad her sister needed her.

Maggie ushered Beth into the dining room, asking her if she could help her clean up, and Beth blushed realizing that she had been gone so long; her family was now in the living area, conversing loudly. She liked times like this from before, when they had dinner parties at the farm. It wasn’t nearly as extravagant as this had been but she was still grateful. It was nice to be normal for a few hours and not let the outside problems bother them.

She still had to remind herself at times just what she had been through and what everyone else had been through, that it was okay to let herself feel normal and to enjoy herself, that she didn’t always have to be guarded.

Since getting shot, that was her main defense mechanism. Never get too close to anybody, and don’t let anyone fool you. She never trusted people anymore and always saw the worst in them. But, being there with her family and friends, she felt like she could breathe, like she could be herself again. Minus when he was there, of course. He made her feel like she was going to explode, but she liked it, in a weird way.

She knew the feelings she had towards him, but she couldn’t speak of them, even though she knew he saw it too. The way she acted towards him and around him, it was obvious, to no one but them. No one could know, and she knew that, so she knew it was best to not get herself involved with him, because she knew it wouldn’t end well for either of them.

Picking up the plates on the table, she placed them into her sisters sink as Maggie frowned at her, and Beth knew she could tell something was off. She knew her too well.

“Hey, you okay? You seem off, a bit annoyed or somethin’?” She rinsed a plate off quickly and placed it to the side, and Beth huffed, grabbing a dish cloth to dry them off with.

“I’m okay, just tired is all, not used to doin’ so much, you know what I mean?” Her head wasn’t back to normal and she still got a lot of headaches, but she was getting used to doing things again, even after how many months it had been.

Her sister nodded and went back to work, and Beth zoned out as she dried off the dishes, her eyes glued onto Rick who was standing in the living room adjacent to the dining room, his laugh reverberating off the walls. He caught her eye and kept contact with her, and she felt pain slice through her palm, a jagged edge of the plate skimming her skin.

She gasped and dropped the plate to the counter, Maggie looking over and drying her hands quickly, grabbing her sisters hand in hers, apologizing repeatedly, saying she forgot about that one.

Beth smiled weakly at her sister as she walked to get her some bandages, and she turned to the living room to see Rick still staring at her, his eyes only leaving hers to stare at her blood tinted palm, his eyebrows furrowing. She knew the look on his face- it was reminding him of that day at the farm. She didn’t like that look, especially from him.

She turned away as her sister came back, and she ran her hand under the tap, drying and wrapping it afterwards. It stung, but she knew it was her fault for being so careless, and she hated herself for it. The more she was around Rick, the more she seemed to just get lost in herself and her emotions, and she became careless.

She thanked her as her sister finished the dishes, and Beth wandered off into the living room, sitting on a small couch in the corner, as far away from him as possible. She could smell his cologne in the small room, and she mentally rolled her eyes. For a house so huge, the living spaces weren’t the most comfortable.

She crossed her left leg over her right and sighed, crossing her arms, her bandaged hand resting on her bicep. She was cold, in the dress she was wearing, and the exposed skin of her legs had goosebumps, but not because of the dipping temperatures.

Across the room, she could see Rick speaking with Aaron, but his eyes were mostly trained on her, the few times he would look at the younger man, to not make the fact that he was staring so obvious. She felt uncomfortable in his gaze, but the warmth in her belly said otherwise, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid her feelings any longer; especially living so close to each other.

She grabbed a book off the coffee table next to her and skimmed the pages, sighing when she realized the sun was setting, which meant she wouldn’t have light to read. They had limited fuel for the generators, and she knew not to keep a lamp on for reading when she could do it during the day- they didn’t have those kind of resources.

Placing the book back onto the table, Beth sighed in annoyance. What she wouldn’t do to watch some TV right now, or go see a movie. It was tiring emotionally and physically doing the same thing every day, and she often found herself craving her old life, the way things were before all of this, when things were normal.

Normal as in not being an eighteen year old girl crushing on a man who was probably in his mid forties. Normal as in not knowing he wanted her just as bad, if not more. Normal as in, not this.

In the post apocalyptic world, normal was gone out the window. People were murdered on a daily basis, the dead were walking, and yet, she still felt disgusted when she thought about her feelings for Rick. Her daddy would’ve approved, gave his blessing, she knew that. He would say ‘Rick is a good man and if he makes you happy, that’s all that matters’ But she still couldn’t fathom it. It wasn’t the age difference as much as it was just him. He was too good a man and deserved much better than some teenage girl who practically came back from the dead.

  
But the way he looked at her across the room, she’d swear she was the only woman left on Earth.

She knew how he felt for her, and she knew she felt the same, but she couldn’t admit it to herself because she was so stuck in those thoughts, that she wouldn’t be good enough for him and she wouldn’t be able to give him the things other women would. She had no experience with men, she only dated Jimmy for a few months and they never did… that, so her main reservation was that she would disappoint him. She just wondered why he was interested in her.

Back on the farm, there was never anything but platonic and very brief interactions between her and Rick. He never glanced at her for more than a quick hello or a nod of his hat, and she never questioned his feelings towards her, because she didn’t think she had to. She assumed him and his group wouldn’t be there for long and would soon be on their way, but it was years and the fall of the farm, the prison, her “death”, and there she was, sitting on that worn leather sofa, alive as ever, the gaze from him sending shivers through her body.

She glanced up again as she picked at her nails, eyes locking with his again as he coughed, signaling to Aaron that he was excusing himself. Beth shuffled on the couch, her palms becoming sweaty as he walked over to where she was sitting, his boots clacking on the hardwood floor, and her stomach clenched at how good he looked.

He sat on the cushion next to her, and she ran her palms on her dress, the skin on her legs once again having goosebumps. She looked at Rick through her eyelashes, and saw he was already looking at her. She blinked at him, her mind blanking with what to say, simply because of him. He had a light blue button up on, a pair of black jeans, and his normal boots. His hair was on the longer side, and his beard was grown in quite a bit, mostly grey at that point. It made her blush seeing him next to her, but also because the way he looked reminded her just how much older than her he really was.

He smiled at her slightly, and scratched his beard, crossing his ankle over the other.

“How’s your hand?” He asked, furrowing his brows.

“It’s alright, it doesn’t hurt anymore, so that’s good, I guess.”

Beth smiled shyly, and her breath caught up when Rick reached over, bringing her bandaged hand into his, running his finger over the fabric. Her breath shuddered as he did so, and their eyes caught once again, Beth realizing they weren’t the only ones in the room.

As they broke eye contact, a man broke into the front door, and the man beside her immediately tensed as he spoke the next words.

“It’s Negan.”

 


	6. Negan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit turns awry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying so far! Please comment and leave kudos :)

**_Beth_ **

She felt Rick tense next to her, and she skimmed her brain from where she heard the name before, her eyes widening and body going rigid as she remembered why she knew that name. _He killed Abraham_. **_Glenn_**.

Gripping the edge of the armrest, she dug her nails into the leather, and she turned to Rick, seeing his jaw locked tightly, and he stood to his feet as everyone in the room grew quiet, waiting for what would happen next.

He turned to Aaron and put a hand on his shoulder, whispering something to him that was incomprehensible to Beth, and she stared at the man as he nodded briskly and left, the door closing behind him loudly. Maggie came into the room a moment later, and Beth felt her heart rate quicken at the multiple weapons in her sisters hands. Guns, machetes, knives, etc. She knew it wouldn’t be a friendly situation.

Rick turned to the remaining people in the room, grabbing a few of the weapons to hand out. They looked to him as he spoke, giving them instructions, and Beth wondered how many times this had happened before. Rick had no emotion to his voice, and it was almost robotic, like he had the whole thing memorized.

They left the house one at a time in brisk pace, and Beth stood from the couch as they did so, running her bandaged hand up her arm. Rick turned to her and walked over, placing his hand on the side of her head, and pulled her into him, reminding her of the day at Grady. It was almost the same situation- life or death, but in the first case, it wasn’t known. In this case, Beth knew the result, definitively. She knew who Negan was. People were going to die.

Maggie came into the room again and coughed, the pair pulling away from each other, and Beth grabbed a gun from her sister, nodding to Rick when he looked at her once more, and the three of them walked out of the house in brisk succession, Beth’s eyes widening at the scene playing out in the middle area of the safe zone.

All the people from inside the house were there, surrounded by men and women with weapons. There was a man in the centre, and he was grinning like a mad man, getting joy out of the fucked up situation. He knew what he was doing, and he loved it.

The three of them walked into the area, Beth and Maggie staying behind in the dark near the house, as Rick approached who Beth assumed was Negan. The smile on the mans face dropped when he saw him, and Beth gulped at the amount of people around him.

_“Negan, what the fuck are you doing back here? We gave you your share two days ago. Stop terrorizing my people, or I will have to take action against you, and yours.”_

Negan glared at Rick as he spoke, and he then laughed, making Beth shiver.

_“A little birdie told me you’ve got a very valuable person in this joint. A pretty little blonde who defied the odds. I’ll tell ya, she’s a bit young for my taste, but I think she’ll do just fine for a few of my buddies.”_

Rick growled lowly, his fingers digging into the leather of his holster, and Beth felt her blood run cold. Her? Why would he want her?

Maggie gripped her sisters elbow as they stood there, and as she guided her to back up, Beth felt the tip of a rifle dig into her back, causing her to stop immediately. She looked at her sister quickly as she nodded, and Beth swung her hand back immediately, the man groaning in pain with the impact of her fist, and she shot him in the head, his body limply falling to the ground.

She heard commotion from the area and turned to see everyone from the house shooting at the people, some being shot in return. She turned to see Rick shoot Negan in the leg, and as she made eye contact with the man, he shouted at his men to capture her.

Maggie grabbed her hand and they ran off towards the house, her sister running inside the house after her, telling her to go into the basement while she held them off. She persisted that she come, but Maggie pushed her away and told her to go, so she did as told.

  
She ran into the basement and hid behind some old boxes, holding her pistol up to her chest. Her chest heaved up and down, and she placed her hand over her mouth to muffle a cry as she heard the front door break open, and she heard the pops of gunfire.

_**Maggie** _

She ran as the gunfire popped around her, and she felt a sharp pain in her leg as she dove into a nearby wall, covering her head as drywall flew around her.

She lay there bleeding, and she closed her eyes as the pain overcame her, hoping her little sister would be okay.

**_Beth_ **

She heard heavy footsteps above her head through the house, and she listened as they spoke, waiting five minutes until she heard nothing. Slowly creeping up the stairs, she continued to listen, and wondered where her sister was. As she went to turn a corner, she came face to face with the man himself, his leg wrapped in bandages, and she gasped as his hand came to her throat, pushing her up against a nearby wall.

  
She dug her nails into the leather of his sleeve, and she yelled out as she saw her sister ten feet away, next to the broken in door. She was shot in the leg, and she was losing blood quickly. She continued to cry as Negan gripped her throat, and his other hand groped her body. She pushed off of him roughly, spitting in his face, and she stared at him with her hair in her face, her dress disheveled.

A blunt object hit her on the head, and she fell to the ground, hazy eyes landing on her bleeding sister as she fell into darkness.

 


End file.
